They live a perfect life, while I sit in the unwashed pair of my partner\u2019s trackies that I lovingly refer to as \u201cour tracksuit pants.\u201d Of course, I want the perfection these influencers have. For I too dream of owning two pairs of tracksuit pants.<\/p>\n
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Credit: <\/span> <\/cite><\/p>\n Luckily, they\u2019ve let us know their secret: they manifested it. Manifestation, or \u201cthe law of attraction,\u201d has its basis in Eastern philosophy. The basic idea is that if you put good stuff into the world, you get good things out of it. Like Nutrigrain for the soul. But as with an inconsiderate neck tattoo of a sacred symbol, that philosophy has been twisted by the worst people you know.<\/p>\n And it came to The West the same way Dr. Phil, liquid protein diets, and the other great evils of the 21st century did: through the Oprah Winfrey Show<\/em>. I have no strong feelings about Oprah, though I do enjoy the delightful Instagram posts from her veggie patch. But on her program, she introduced us to a little book called The Secret.<\/em> What is The Secret? I\u2019ll tell you. It\u2019s that you\u2019re about to waste $25. And the rest is history.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not going to pretend that I know what the universe is made of. But it\u2019s safe to say that unknown forces of this dimension are not banding together for the sole purpose of getting you Taylor Swift tickets.<\/p>\n But maybe I\u2019m just hard and cynical from all the logic I\u2019ve been forced to use. I probably shouldn\u2019t judge manifesting until I\u2019ve tried it. So I did. Anything that involves scented candles and sitting down I\u2019ll try at least once. There was a job I really wanted so, I did what the life influencers told me to do. I focused hard, I pictured myself getting that job, I wrote out the steps it would take to get that job, and I worked through the steps to get that job. Day in and day out, I repeated my mantras and wished with all my heart that it would be me. And guess what? I didn\u2019t get the job. I felt ripped off. It was a waste of a perfectly well-scented candle. But was the problem me? Did I just not \u201cwant\u201d correctly?<\/p>\n My frustration with manifestation goes beyond being grumpy with influencers or being fed up with fads. I\u2019m tired of the onus of success being placed on the individual. Succeeding shouldn\u2019t be seen as a solo pursuit but as a group activity. I would be nowhere in my life or career without my support networks. I\u2019m a soft-spoken person who struggles to form connections but it\u2019s amazing what happens when you ask people for help. Think of it this way. I would rather watch a movie that was made by a crew, rather than one lone genius breaking his back to make \u201cperfect art\u201d (here\u2019s looking at you Nolan, Oppenheimer<\/em> better be worth my money.) But the modern way we think about manifestation isolates us from the community. We think we have to make it on our own to be valid.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the real secret. Do you know who can make it on their own? Rich kids. They have family security which means they can take big swings and risk it all. Because if they fall, someone will be there to catch them. You\u2019d feel more than comfortable pursuing a career as a fitness vlogger if your dad was an investment banker.<\/p>\n I worry particularly for aspiring mums when it comes to this stuff. I\u2019ve had friends desperately \u201cmanifesting\u201d when trying to have a baby. Their disappointment when it doesn\u2019t happen for them is compounded into an inedible and dry guilt sandwich. Because they\u2019ve spent all this time and energy manifesting, they think it\u2019s their fault when they can\u2019t make it happen. That they didn\u2019t want it enough. When disappointment hits, you can\u2019t add self-blame to the pile-on.<\/p>\n We are human at the end of the day. We\u2019re all space dust bitten off from the same pile of moon rocks. A by-product of a disjointed universe trying to exist in chaos. The universe has got a lot of stuff to worry about. Do you think it has time to focus solely on you? No. Not when \u201cAnd Just Like That\u201d is on. That\u2019s too much chaos for one reality. You can work hard in this life. You can upskill and put yourself out there as much as possible. You can take every \u201cTeaches Self-Expression and Authenticity with Ru Paul\u201d masterclass in their catalogue (you shouldn\u2019t). But if something doesn\u2019t happen for you, it\u2019s not because you didn\u2019t want it enough. Whether that be you miss out on a job or life opportunity, it\u2019s not always your fault.<\/p>\n Maybe I don\u2019t want to get rid of my communal pair of tracksuit pants. While it\u2019s normal and healthy to aspire to new heights, I like that there is something warm and familiar in my life. I want to celebrate the parts of my world that make space for me. There\u2019s a place for me and my butt to come home to that does not judge, that does not blame, it just gives me comfort. And who could want anything more?<\/p>\n Find out the next TV, streaming series and movies to add to your must-sees. <\/i><\/b>Get The Watchlist delivered every Thursday<\/i><\/b>.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n To read more from<\/b> Spectrum<\/i><\/b>, visit our page here.<\/b><\/p>\nMost Viewed in Culture<\/h2>\n
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