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It\u2019s almost impossible to escape the abundance of negative news surrounding the trans community.<\/p>\n
In the days leading up to this article being published, Liz Truss has been railing against schools helping pupils socially transition, and it\u2019s been claimed that gender-critical feminists want trans women to show passports in public toilets.<\/p>\n
In our latest episode of Mentally Yours, Metro.co.uk\u2019s mental health podcast, Jake and Hannah Graf, Britain\u2019s first transgender parents, address the steady stream of hate towards the trans community \u2013 but they also speak about hope.<\/p>\n
Jake tells Metro.co.uk: \u2018It feels very much like a propaganda campaign against trans people at the moment. It\u2019s a scary time to be trans. <\/p>\n
\u2018We are maligned, we are told that we\u2019re infringing on other people\u2019s rights.\u2019<\/p>\n
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Jake and Hannah explain that it is \u2018hard enough to be born trans\u2019 and that the mainstream hate towards the trans community leaves them feeling \u2018battered and bruised\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u2018There\u2019s a real feeling of why? Why are we so hated? Why are we so maligned? Why are we so attacked? Why is it okay?\u2019 adds Jake.<\/p>\n
Jake began his transition in 2008 and Hannah came out as trans in 2013. They shared their journey together through the Channel 4 documentary, Our Baby: A Modern Miracle, and have recently released a book called Becoming Us. <\/p>\n
The couple met in 2015. The pair flirted on Facebook before their first date, which lasted 11 hours and involved tequila, a first kiss, talks about dysphoria, the stigma of being trans and their dreams, hopes and aspirations.<\/p>\n
Jake says: \u2018I was Hannah\u2019s first ever date, which was obviously good for me because she had no point of reference whatsoever, and we just clicked.<\/p>\n
\u2018When I saw her, I thought, what a beautiful woman. And that\u2019s very unusual for me. It was wonderful.\u2019<\/p>\n
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Hannah says that, until she met Jake, \u2018the idea of parenthood felt a bit unobtainable\u2019 for her.<\/p>\n
\u2018I grew up learning to feel like trans women were ugly and something to be despised, something to be fearful of,\u2019 says Hannah.<\/p>\n
\u2018So the idea of being able to transition, and then even dating, sounded crazy, let alone getting married and having kids. It was out of my frame of reference for a long time.<\/p>\n
\u2018Then meeting Jake and realising that it was a really big part of what Jake saw for his future, that\u2019s when it started to click as a as a genuine possibility.\u2019<\/p>\n
Jake had paused his transition six years in so he could freeze his eggs, and was left with five fertilised embryos to start a family with. But the experience was \u2019emasculating\u2019 after \u2018finally finding [himself] in the right body\u2019.<\/p>\n
He says: \u2018Harvesting eggs was obviously going to be emasculating. It was going to be difficult, it was going to be invasive, intrusive, uncomfortable, all of those things. <\/p>\n
\u2018But if it gave me even the slightest glimmer of hope that I might one day be a father, then that to me was worth it.\u2019<\/p>\n
Jake\u2019s mother helped him privately fund the treatment which wasn\u2019t available for trans people on the NHS, but his friends were concerned he would become suicidal if he came off of his male hormones \u2013 which was needed for his eggs to be harvested.<\/p>\n
\u2018I did have a lot of friends who were very concerned for me during that time. I went through the process, and honestly, it wasn\u2019t as bad as I thought it was going to be.\u2019<\/p>\n
The pair now share two children together. They welcomed Millie in April 2020, followed by Teddie, in May 2022.<\/p>\n
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And, despite receiving plenty of hate towards their family \u2013 their children and themselves \u2013 Jake and Hannah say they still have an abundance of joy in their lives.<\/p>\n
Jake shares his moments of joy, saying: \u2018After\u00a0top surgery, I was able to stand tall and wear a tight t-shirt and love it. Hundreds of trans men that I\u2019ve spoken to absolutely love it. That feeling of elation and freedom and being able to take your top off on the beach for the first time after your surgery is utter euphoria.<\/p>\n
\u2018For some people, it\u2019s when they first grow their beard. I remember when I first got my first one whisker and the joy that I felt. Then I got a tiny little bit of a moustache.<\/p>\n
\u2018It\u2019s about making us feel like the gender that we know ourselves to be. The correct gender. Those tiny little things make all the difference.<\/p>\n
Hannah says: \u2018My euphoria really comes from just this sort of sense of inclusion and acceptance in my day to day life.<\/p>\n
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\u2018It\u2019s the way people address you or the pronouns they use \u2013 they all make a big difference. It\u2019s a sort of constant state of euphoria when your identity is validated, supported and included.\u2019<\/p>\n
A prime example of this was when Hannah walked past a soldier who called her ma\u2019am instead of sir and in that moment \u2018her heart sang\u2019.<\/p>\n
But if there\u2019s one things that both Jake and Hannah have learned from a life filled with hope, joy and unfortunately, adversity, it\u2019s this: \u2018Don\u2019t doubt who you are.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018It doesn\u2019t mean you have to come out right now or you have to be something in that moment,\u2019 says Hannah. \u2018But don\u2019t doubt who you are, you know who you are.\u2019<\/p>\n