Are you dying to know what a couple’s relationship is really like? Elite Daily’s series, ILYSM, celebrates couples who met on dating apps and dives into the inner workings of their relationships. How did they know they were falling for each other? Who sent the first awkward message? What’s the one thing they fight about? Are they astrologically compatible, and do they care? By the end of each story, you’ll love them both so much.
When the pandemic hit, the chances of meeting someone amazing felt bleaker than ever. But in May, Katrina Connor and Patrick Lloyd met on Hinge. The pressures of — well, *gestures around at the entirety of 2020* — took an emotional toll on Katrina, who teared up on their first few (outdoor, socially distanced) dates. Patrick’s sweet, supportive, and sturdy response impressed her, and soon, they were officially dating. They both have to head into their offices for work, which means occasionally quarantining apart for a few days here and there. They stay close during those times by using Discord, a video/voice chat app, to virtually watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and do karaoke together.
Here’s their story:
I’m a Bachelor Nation historian who loves to eat tacos, drink cider, and dish about reality TV. Food scientist at Pizza Hut Corporate.
I’m an anime and video game nerd, cat lover, and ciderholic. I work in cyber security.
Which app did you meet on?
Patrick Lloyd: Hinge
How long have you known each other?
KC: Five months
How long have you been dating?
PL: Five months
Do you live together? Are you engaged? Do you have a pet you share? Any other relationship markers?
KC: I’ve been fostering dogs during quarantine and have fostered two dogs during our relationship. Patrick has been a help, but they are my responsibility, not his.
What initially attracted you to each other’s profiles?
KC: His profile seemed sweet and geeky, and his first message was thoughtful and polite.
PL: She had something interesting to say on her profile and had decent and varied pictures. You don’t get both very often.
Who sent the first message, and what was it?
KC: Patrick sent the first message. On Hinge, there are questions that people can respond to.
PL: I responded to her prompt about Neville Longbottom being the true hero of Harry Potter with something along the lines of, "Too bad JK Rowling is a TERF."
KC: I said that Harry and Ginny were a horrible couple. He responded and agreed.
How long did you exchange messages or texts before your first date?
KC: He asked me out the first day we started talking, and we went on a date the next day.
What was your first date like?
KC: We found out that we lived off the same hiking trail, so we met on a hill off the trail and had a picnic. He brought snacks and drinks. We chatted about a ton of stuff and enjoyed each other’s company until the sun went down.
Describe the DTR (define the relationship) conversation.
PL: It was on our second date. We just discussed what we were trying to do together.
KC: We basically both said, "I am only seeing you and only want to see you, sooo… I guess we are exclusive." It was not a big event. I’m not sure why I thought it was going to be more climactic, but we were both on the same page super early on. It was a two-minute conversation.
If you’re Instagram official, what was your first photo together?
PL: I was helping her say goodbye to a foster dog about to go to their furever home.
Describe the moment you first realized you were falling for them.
PL: Seeing her be so authentic and willing to keep going in life even though… well, look around at the world.
KC: I am a very emotional person. At that point in quarantine (late May), I was panicking about a lot of things. I broke down on our first date, third date, and fourth date. By the time he had supported me through many anxiety-induced crying sessions, I knew I had a good one.
Who said "I love you" first?
PL: She did.
What was your first fight about?
KC: After a night of drinking, I was venting about some minor things that were stressing me out. Though he didn’t intend this, his response was very harsh and blunt, which made me feel unheard and disrespected. We talked about it in the sober light of day, and I shared that sometimes, I need to vent — not get advice. We’ve moved on.
PL: We also got into a fight about who got to keep the ice cream.
KC: But that involved lots of chasing and negotiating — it was more fun than serious.
What’s your favorite underrated thing about each other?
PL: Her positivity.
KC: He remains steady and calm. He also always sends really cute memes.
What was the last thing you texted about?
PL: Doing this survey.
How often do you text throughout the day?
KC: We check in with each other throughout the day. Recently, I’ve started sending him random voice memos of my thoughts.
Do you know if you’re astrologically compatible? Do you care?
KC: I think we are compatible, but do any sites really tell you that any two signs are not compatible?
PL: The only star that would make a difference is the one that hits me.
Which TV show do you marathon together?
PL: RuPaul’s Drag Race.
KC: I had never seen the show and he loves it, so since we have started dating, we have watched all the seasons together and are caught up with the current season.
What was your favorite date you’ve ever been on?
KC: Since we started dating in quarantine, we have not been on a ton of in-person dates.
PL: My favorite was an arcade bar crawl.
KC: We went to get booze-infused ice cream and then hung out at an arcade. It was a good blend of our independent favorite things. I love ice cream and he loves games, so it was a great date.
What’s one word to describe your sex life?
Why do you think your relationship works?
KC: I am a funny, bubbly, emotional person and he is a funny, geeky, calm person, so we balance each other out. We enjoy being in each other’s company and push each other to try new things together while still enjoying a lot of the same things.
PL: We legitimately care about each other and attempt to understand each other’s needs, feelings, and concerns before doing anything. We also always assume positive intent in all of our actions.
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from each other?
PL: Understanding each other takes time.
KC: Besides learning more about the Killer Queen arcade game than I expected, I have learned a lot about myself in this relationship. I have learned that my emotional moments can be seen as endearing and honest, that my love of The Bachelor can be seen as quirky and passionate, and that my intelligence and wit can attract someone just as much as my body can. Patrick has really made me feel loved for me and that’s the most important lesson you can learn.
What’s your best piece of advice for people on dating apps?
PL: Be honest about what you’re looking for!
KC: Give yourself a break if you need one. When I was actively using dating apps, I would go through bouts of severe insecurity and anxiety. I felt like I was constantly being rejected when I didn’t get as many matches as others, or I got matches who didn’t match my goal. (All they wanted was sex.) So, I took breaks. Stepping back and not comparing my journey to others really helped me get back into the right space for dating.
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