DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE never slept with anyone but my wife – so surely she should be OK with the fact I want to explore?
She had 15 sexual partners before me but says I’m the best she’s ever had.
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But how am I supposed to know if she’s the best I’ve ever had if I’ve not tried anything else?
She’s 32, I’m 31 and we’ve been together for eight years. We met while working in the same furniture showroom in our twenties.
She dated quite a few of the guys that worked for the company but that never bothered me. She stopped all that when I asked her out.
We never really spoke about previous sexual partners, she just knew I was still a virgin.
My parents were Catholic and instilled in me the idea that sex is for saving with someone you really love.
Right from the start, sex with my wife was amazing. It was obvious that she was experienced. Again, it didn’t bother me.
But at a friend’s birthday party recently, we got talking about our “body count”.
My friends were stunned to hear I’d never slept with anyone except my wife.
My best mate asked: “Do you not want to make sure there’s nothing better out there?”
At first, I brushed it off. I love my wife and wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardise our relationship.
But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think he’s right.
My wife is always saying how good our sex life is. But I don’t know if that’s true.
I want her to give me a “hall pass” to go and sleep with other people.
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I don’t want to date these women. It would be no-strings sex.
Does this sound ridiculous?
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DEIDRE SAYS: More does not mean better, necessarily.
The best sex often happens when there is an emotional connection, so it is rare to have great sex during a one-night stand.
You don’t have that bond with someone who is little more than an acquaintance, where you talk about what you want and need. That is probably why your wife thinks your sex life is so great.
It is unlikely she will understand this urge and it might make her question your commitment to her. There is no point risking your relationship for some short-term passion.
Focusing on the past will only damage your relationship. Instead, try to focus on the future.
Are there things you would like to try that would make you enjoy sex more? My support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex has some fun ideas to try.
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