My wife has walked out three times – it's time she decides what she wants

DEAR DEIDRE: THREE times my wife has walked out on us. She can’t decide if she wants to be part of this family or not.

Each time, she says we are not compatible and she’s not happy.

She’s not wrong. While my partner is loud and fiery, I’m the quiet type.


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In the bedroom it’s the same. I’m a gentle lover, but she likes it rough.

I know they say opposites attract but I am not sure in our case. I am 36 and she is 32.

The only reason I’ve stayed is because of our boys, who are four and two.

I grew up in a broken home and don’t want them shipped about between us both.

We just need her to decide. Would she be happier single?

DEIDRE SAYS: It is important for a child’s emotional development to grow up around both parents, if at all possible.

But constantly seeing their mother walk out won’t be doing your children much good either.

It sounds like your wife doesn’t know what she wants herself, so sitting her down to ask won’t get you very far.

Instead, contact Relate (relate.org.uk) for some relationship counselling.

This will help you unpick what is missing for both of you and decide whether you can make things work.

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