My partner likes to control everything I do and I can’t see a way out

DEAR DEIDRE: My partner likes to control everything I do and I can’t see a way out

I’m 39 and he’s 42. We have been together for four years and have a three-year-old son.

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I knew my biological clock was ticking and was desperate to have a family.

I rushed into our relationship without knowing what kind of man he really is.

He’s told me to kill myself before. If it weren’t for our son, I probably would have by now.

He threatens to leave me and each time I beg him not to go. He’s right, I am weak and pathetic.

Even though he’s awful, I can’t help feeling dependent on him.

Besides, I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to. He cut up my credit card and only allows me a small weekly allowance for our food shop.

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DEIDRE SAYS: HE is being emotionally and financially abusive.

You are not weak and pathetic. You have already realised that what your partner is doing is wrong – and that takes a lot of strength.

Though you may think you love him, you owe it to yourself and your son to escape this dangerous situation.


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With the right support, you can leave. Get advice through the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) or

I am also sending you my support pack Abusive Partner? which has more useful guidance.

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