My life and career haven't worked out as I once hoped — and I'm worried I will never get married or have kids

I’ve tried everything to improve my career prospects. I’ve had coaching and training, I’ve been on secondments and even tried shadowing higher-paid jobs but to date nothing’s worked.

I am also gay and can’t bear the thought that one day I won’t be married with children.

I know it could happen but somehow don’t think it will for me.

I keep myself busy with voluntary work and I help all my family whenever they go through crises, which seems to be often.

But will my life ever work out right?

DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like you lack confidence. You are better at training than trying your wings and just doing the job. You are also better at thinking of others than at focusing on yourself. Is helping others a tactic to prevent you from trying to succeed?

Check out Underearners Anonymous UK ( My e-leaflet on Gay Resources will help too.

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