DEAR DEIDRE: MY world came crashing down when a girl told me she’d had a one-night stand with my boyfriend – and now she’s going to have his baby.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. I’m 22 and he is 27.
I’m so in love with him now but he wasn’t the best boyfriend at the start as he was just out of a four-year relationship so wasn’t ready to settle down again.
One night about two months ago we had a row because I was feeling hurt that he wasn’t as into me as I was him.
I went storming off back home and he thought we were over, so decided he might as well go out with his mates.
He met up with this girl in the pub. We both know her. She’s my age and always getting close to other girls’ boyfriends.
They ended up having sex, though of course he didn’t tell me that when we made up a couple of days later.
She told me about it three weeks ago. She said she’d had a positive test and it had to be my boyfriend’s because she’s not had sex with anyone else for six months.
I cried and cried when I confronted him about it. He said that night was a mistake and should not have happened.
Since finding out about the baby he has been the most amazing boyfriend ever. He’s been completely devoted to me and it feels amazing. Ironically I feel more in love with him now than ever.
He says he’s realised now what he has in me and has totally stepped up to the mark.
He wants to be a dad to the baby because he’s a lovely person and has the right values in life, but I don’t know how I’m going to cope.
Will I be able to come to terms with the baby or will it ultimately end us? I want a baby myself and I feel sidelined now he’s going to have one with her.
He promises all the time that I will never be made to feel pushed out but he’s getting a bit fed up with reassuring me.
THREE in four women suffer pain during sex at some point.
For some, it is so intense it effectively stops them having intercourse.
My e-leaflet Self-Help For Painful Sex explains what to do.
For a copy, email me at [email protected] or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s early days. If your boyfriend is already fed up with reassuring you, I wonder how patient he will be with the years of tiring demands of parenting.
He should insist on DNA tests as you both only have that girl’s word she hadn’t had sex with anyone else.
But if the baby is his, your best tactic – for everyone’s sake – is to welcome that baby into your lives so he or she feels special to you, too.
That way you show yourself the bigger person and you will realise that our love isn’t finite.
You can love that little soul as well as feel special having a baby of your own with him one day too.
But this all depends on whether he measures up to the promises he’s making rather easily now.
Source: Read Full Article