I'm worried my passionate love affair with a girl half my age is on the rocks

I told her I wanted to spend every night of the week with her but it seems she’s now having doubts about the future.

I’m 40 and my lover is 21. I met her at work and from the start she looked like the girl of my dreams. I had to give it a go or I would have regretted it for the rest of my days.

So that this girl would give me a chance, I pulled out all the stops. At first she played hard to get but I didn’t give up and eventually I won her round.

I took her to dinner then we went back to her place. The sex was amazing but, to give myself some credit, I was honest with her from the start.

I said I was living with somebody else and that we’d been together for six years.

I explained that my partner at home had lost interest in sex long ago but has a seven-year-old daughter who loves me like I’m her real dad.

This girl and I really clicked, like you wouldn’t believe. We got closer and closer, then we fell deeply in love. Believe me, it wasn’t one-sided.

My partner found out and we stopped for a while. But the pull was too strong and we started the whole thing again. I think my partner believed I was faithful to her after that.

I told my lover I’d made up my mind that she is the one I want to be with. I thought she’d be thrilled but she suddenly changed. She now feels depressed and doesn’t know what she wants.

She says she needs space — and I am trying my best. But it’s hard for me to stay away from the girl that I love.


MORE men struggle to climax than ever.

It’s one thing to last and feel confident but another if it takes so long she gets bored or sore.

My e-leaflet Man Who Finds It Hard To Climax? can help.

For a copy email [email protected] or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: I bet it is difficult but this sounds like it’s all about you and your needs – and that isn’t real love.

You are not thinking whether you are right for this girl at her age, or what’s right for the woman you’re living with now, or for the daughter who thinks of you as her dad.

Your lover is asking for space and perhaps she has realised you are at different stages in life and you want different things.

She is pulling back now it looks like you might actually leave your partner.

If you follow this path, you could well find you wind up alone. Take a step back and think about why you once loved your partner but are now so keen to move on. Is behaviour like this part of a pattern for you?

Think about when you were young. Did your dad stick around or did he move on from your mum?

Read my e-leaflet Can’t Be Faithful? then think about whether you are willing to change.

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