DEAR DEIDRE: I’M desperate for intimacy and have been in touch with a couple of people who are willing to give me what I need.
The trouble is, I’m a happily married man and my dear wife has dementia.
She’s 67 and I’m 61 and her carer.
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During lockdown I found a pen pal group and started writing to a couple of people. It was mainly women who were writing.
I’ve told two of them I want a sex life and they have both agreed. One is widowed and 62 and the other lady is 54 and divorced.
I don’t know what to do.
You’ve never cheated, so don’t do something you would regret.
Your wife may not be with you in mind, but you still love her and having sex with somebody else would saddle you with guilt.
Hand massages with your wife will help you feel closer and will feel nice for her.
And, when you’re alone, masturbating can give sexual relief without involving anyone else.
Being a carer is tough so do try to get some respite care for your wife.
Dementia UK can help. (dementiauk.org, 0800 888 6678).
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