I had amazing sex with my husband's best man after he dumped me — and now I feel so confused

I was in shock and ended up in bed with the guy who had been his best man. Now my feelings are all over the place.

My husband is 26, I am 23, and we have been married for a year but have been apart most of the time because he is in the Army.

I’ve been living with my parents because I have a good job I don’t want to give up yet.

My husband has now been deployed overseas again for six months.

Our best man lives near his base so we arranged to spend a week together at his place before he went.

He is 24 and went back to his mum’s to give us space.

I was excited and nervous at seeing my husband again. It was lovely just laughing and chatting and having amazing sex.

I thought he seemed happy too, though after a few pints he was a bit negative about the future.

The next day we went for a long walk and again had sex in the afternoon.

Afterwards he said he had something to tell me — and that it was serious. Then he dropped the bombshell that he wants us to divorce.

I was so gobsmacked I couldn’t take it in, and then he left.

When our best man came back that evening he found me crying.

He put his arm around me and I told him what had happened. He said to go and have a bath and an early night as I was upset.

The next thing I knew he was in bed with me. He cuddled me and said he will always be there for me. We ended up having sex and it felt amazing.

We have been texting every day since and I have arranged to visit him again. I look forward to seeing him but I feel very confused.

My husband has only sent a few texts since he went overseas — though he warned me he might not be able to be in touch very often.


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DEIDRE SAYS: Your best man is on hand and your husband isn’t, so it would be easy to let this fling develop, but I think you’d regret it.

What sort of guy jumps on his best mate’s wife when she is vulnerable and his mate is about to leave to serve his country? I really don’t see him as reliable partner material.

Of course you were shocked by what your husband said but I wonder if it was a sign of just how painful he finds it to leave you.

You had a lovely weekend until that point. He was maybe kidding himself that getting divorced would end the pain.

At least give your husband and marriage six months to see if you can talk more constructively when he’s home.

I know communications can be difficult, but maybe you can start opening up the issues by text or email while he’s away.
You can find understanding through SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity (ssafa.org.uk, 0800 731 4880).

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