How I Do It: 'My partner prioritises my pleasure over his – it turns him on'

Welcome to How I Do It – the series that gives you a sneak peek into a week in the sex life of a stranger.

For this week’s instalment, we have Kathy*, a heterosexual 25-year-old who’s been in a relationship for eight years.

Like so many of us, her sex drive is subject to change, and she’d like her sex life to include a little more variety, saying she and her partner tend to revert to the same favourite sex positions rather than trying new things

On the flip side, Kathy’s happy with the fact that her partner prioritises her pleasure over his own.

She says she sometimes feels guilty about it, but he does it because it ‘turns him on more’.

Without further ado, here’s how they’ve been getting on this week…


Our sex life during the week is a little bit hit-and-miss as we’re both usually so tired from working.

We just wanted to relax and chat over dinner and watch our TV shows, but sometimes when we’re both a bit stressed out, sex helps us relax and wind down.

Tonight was definitely one of those nights.

We were both really tired but also turned on, so we just ended up going to bed a bit earlier, kissing and enjoying a bit of mutual masturbation.


This evening we decided to actually go out after work as my boyfriend had a day off, and I was working from home so didn’t have to endure my long commute.

We’re both quite young and have been together for a few years, but doing stuff together like going out for dinners during the week and doing something active on the weekend (like a Sunday bike ride or visiting a new city) always helps us to feel even closer to each other.

We came home having drunk quite a bit (as is not the norm for us) so we were both feeling a bit flirty and ended up having sex. He went down on me before we both finished in reverse cowgirl, a favourite of ours.


We’ve both had a bit of a hectic week this week so today I decided to have some ‘me time’ after work with a nice bath and a book, while my partner saw his parents on the way home after he clocked off.

We ended up getting takeaway and had a chilled evening on the sofa.


We both had the day off and decided to get up early and go for breakfast.

We rarely get weekends off together as my partner usually works, so we decided to just have a chilled one after we came home.

Both of us felt really turned on so had sex on the sofa twice – it was hot and passionate, with lots of dirty talking involved.

The rest of the day we caught up on errands and hung out together. Just before we went to sleep, we decided to give each other oral sex. I came first, then it was his turn.


Today my partner’s at work, so I spent the morning lounging around in my pyjamas before finally getting dressed and going to see my friend for lunch. My partner came home at 4pm, and I cooked us dinner.

We always try to stay away from the TV on a Sunday and or do something a bit more active, but my partner’s been busy at work, so we settle down watching Netflix.


Today I had a super busy day at work – it’s quite stressful at the moment – so I came home quite late from the office.

My partner got home from the gym after work two hours earlier than me, so he cooked for us.

He’s always in the mood for sex after the gym (and seeing him hot and sweaty from working out turns me on) so he’s trying to initiate sex. But it’s so late, and I just feel too tired.


My partner has the day off and I’m working from home, so we’re together all day.

I usually like this as I get to catch up and spend my lunch breaks with him, although there have definitely been times where he’s been home and tried to lure me away from my laptop for afternoon sex.

He also always does all the chores around the house when he has his days off (washing, cooking, etc) and I always find that really sweet and considerate.

As we both have some free time after work, we end up hiring out a court and go to play badminton together, just to break the week up a bit. We get home around 7pm and relax on the sofa together.

*Name has been changed

How I Do It

In’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.

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