How I Do It: 'I'm proposing to my partner – she fixed my relationship with sex'

A drawing of a man and his partner cuddling on the sofa

We’ve got a very special instalment of How I Do It this week.

Today, we’re getting another sneak peek into the sex life of Jake*, who first took part in our little series just over a year ago.

Then, Jake was just starting to date the partner he’s with to this day; a woman who he credits with helping him repair his relationship with sex after being cheated on by his last girlfriend.

‘I’ve got to a point with my partner that sex feels so natural and fun that I don’t think anything that could happen would embarrass me,’ the 28-year-old says.

He also enjoys how passionate they are with each other, and how willing they are to experiment.

‘We have gotten to such an amazing place with our intimacy that I would love for it to stay like this for as long as possible,’ he adds. ‘I’ll be doing everything I can to make sure we stay passionate, spontaneous and open-minded.’

Things have gone so well between the two that this week, Jake’s got a very big question to ask her…

Monday

I haven’t had sex in a few weeks. 

My partner moved in with me just before summer, so we had every opportunity to fully indulge ourselves with each other. However, she is an American citizen and had to move back to the states after her university course was over, so we are currently in a long-distance relationship. 

I haven’t seen her in a few weeks now, but she flies back to the UK today to see me. As you can imagine, I’m very excited. 

Normally when we are apart, we sext a decent amount and get each other riled up, but she’s been with family and doing life admin, so we’ve been missing that long-distance intimacy. That being said, if I’ve learned anything from our past, once we see each other again we won’t be able to keep our hands to ourselves. 

We have a busy week ahead but I will be making sure that she leaves England fully satisfied in every way. 

Tuesday

I woke up to a text telling me that she had landed. I wasn’t sure if she would get to my flat before I left for work, but I kept my fingers crossed that she would catch me. 

As I was making breakfast, I heard the door open, and she walked in with a big smile on her face. We held each other and kissed for a long time, but not long enough. Everything felt right again, and I felt all my stress leave my body. She then decided to tease me and grope me just as I had to leave for work. She can be cruel at times and I spent my workday craving her. 

As she was jet lagged, she spent most of the day sleeping. When I finished work she texted me saying she’d just woken up and was still in bed. I told her to stay there and that I would join her when I got home. I got back, stripped off and slid under the covers. 

We gave into our desires and we made love. It was animalistic and passionate, we both wanted to show the other just how much we missed them. It was a much-needed physical and emotional release after being apart. 

We spent the evening catching up and planning the rest of the week. We started a new show together and cuddled up after eating dinner. This didn’t last long. A couple of episodes later, we were kissing again and dragged each other into the bedroom. 

This time, I took my time exploring the body that I had pined for, worshipping every inch of her. I wanted to overwhelm her senses (with the help of a toy). 

Once we were completely satisfied, we rested close to each other. It took us a while to find the motivation to stand, but we finally washed off, got ready for bed and dozed off in each other’s arms. It was the happiest I had felt in a long time. 

Wednesday

It felt good to wake up next to my love again. It’s just not the same sleeping by yourself. I got up, fed the cat and prepared myself for work. I gave her a kiss goodbye and headed out. 

It’s amazing what sex does to your mood. I felt more energetic, more awake and in a generally better mindset after our passions. My partner went to meet a friend for some shopping, I went to the gym, and we planned to see each other in the evening. 

When I got home, I decided that I would fan the flames whilst she was gone. I texted her saying that I had plans for when she got home and included some subtle hints to peak her curiosity. 

The moment she entered the flat we were kissing and being playful before I carried her towards the bedroom. I took complete control of the experience, which included a blindfold, cuffs, leg restraints, a collar and some toys. I enjoy being in charge and she loves to be dominated. 

I made sure that she was satisfied to the point that she couldn’t take any more, and then we cuddled up, talking. Sometimes after sex, we like to discuss what we enjoyed about it and the highlights of the experience. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to have better sex with their partner as you find out what they enjoy and how you can improve next time. Through these little check-ins, we have become fluent with our bodies and know just how to get the best reactions out of each other. 

We showered and settled down for the evening. We carried on with that show we started yesterday, spoke to our parents and simply relaxed. It’s the little things that you appreciate when you spend so much time away from the one you love. The silly conversations, the random play-fights, spooning on the sofa. They are the things I miss the most when she’s away. 

Thursday

Today was my partner’s graduation ceremony. 

We started off by waking up and appreciating a long lay-in together. We cuddled up and shared body heat whilst the cat begged us to get up and feed her. We eventually did. 

Once we were ready, we headed to London to meet up with her friends for a Korean table BBQ. It was nice to socialise. I enjoy seeing her laughing and sharing stories with other people. 

We went to the graduation venue, and she robed up. I was proud to see her walk across the stage. We got some photos, had some free booze and then headed home. 

We spent the evening relaxing and planning one of our next trips. Eventually, it was time for bed. Whether it was the tiredness or the amount of sex we’d had the last couple of days, I wasn’t up for more. However, when my partner came onto me, I wanted to make sure she was satisfied so I just focused on pleasing her. 

We cuddled up and I fell asleep thinking about the exciting day I have planned for us tomorrow. 

Friday

I have been planning today for a long time. My partner knew nothing about it, just that we were going to be busy somewhere in London. We woke up after a decent lay in, and I started the day off by teasing her a little, but not allowing her to have me. This also made sure she was fully awake from her jet-lagged coma and ready to start the day, even if she was a little riled up. 

We headed into London towards Hyde Park. She still knew nothing and was getting increasingly curious as we approached the park. We turned into a street on the adjacent road and were greeted by stables. This is where she figured out that we were going horse riding! She has been riding horses all her life, but I have never even sat on one, so she’s been trying to get me riding for ages. As you can imagine, she was very excited. 

We had a beautiful ride through Hyde Park, and she had tonnes of fun. I felt like I did a good job for my first time and I think I succeeded in proving to my partner that I’m always up for new things (and not just in the bedroom).

Once we were finished, we had a walk into the park where we stumbled across the Italian Gardens. We took some cute pictures around the fountains before I sat her down to show her something I’d been working on. 

We have been making a photo scrapbook of all our dates together over the last year. Whilst she has been away, I updated it with all our most recent trips away and cute days out. I also sneaked in a surprise page for her to find whilst we were sitting on that bench. The page had photos of all her family members and her closest friends holding up homemade letters spelling out, “Will you marry me?” 

As she found that page, I was ready with a ring and a smile on my face. She said yes, and my partner became my fiancée. There was plenty of kissing and photos of her hand before we headed off for dinner and cocktails at one of London’s best vegan restaurants. 

We got back home feeling high on love and with special news to tell everyone, but that would have to wait. The first thing we did was shower (horse riding is a sweaty business) and the second thing was to have sex. My now-fiancée climbed on top and showed me how much she enjoyed the day by making sure I felt appreciated. It was simple, natural and full of love. The kind of sex that makes you feel completely connected to someone. 

A perfect end to a memorable day. 

Saturday

Another long lay-in. She was still recovering from jet lag, and I was recovering from the nerves of the previous day. Unfortunately, she also woke up with a UTI, probably from the amount of sex we’d had the previous days. We shared some kisses then got up and cleaned the flat together. Sometimes these little things are more intimate than anything else. 

We went into town to grab some food (and some UTI medication) and see a couple of my friends. We played pool and announced the news to them which was met with many congratulations. We drank and played, retelling the story of the previous day. After, we went out for more food and drinks, getting to a nice level of merry before heading home. 

Once we got in, we shared a shower and relaxed for the rest of the evening. We got in bed and cuddled up close, and I got turned on. We didn’t have sex because of the UTI, but that didn’t stop her from teasing me into the night. Tomorrow is our last day together. Fingers crossed that the infection clears up…

Sunday

Unfortunately, the gods did not smile down on us and the UTI was still angry the next day. We may not have been able to have sex, but I was still incredibly happy to have her company for one more day. 

We got cuddled up on the sofa and ate tasty food whilst watching terrible TV. She packed her things up ready to fly off, and we got very emotional. It’s always sad when she leaves but at least we still get to see each other. We will have to release some of this tension the next time she is back in a few weeks’ time. 

And remember, everyone: always pee after sex.

*Name has been changed.

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