Should a man ALWAYS plan the first date? Singles weigh in on who should take charge – as dating expert reveals the biggest turn off for women
- A relationship coach has questioned how women feel about planning first date
- Louanne Ward, who lives in Perth, is a professional matchmaker with clients
- She also runs a Facebook page called She Said, He Said to share her thoughts
- Many of her followers were quick to say it was the ‘man’s job’ to plan the first date
- But others felt like a healthy collaboration was best to ensure it was enjoyable
An Australian matchmaker and relationship expert has questioned whether women prefer men to plan the first date or if it’s better to collaborate – and the results were surprising.
Louanne Ward, who lives in Perth, took to the Facebook page She Said, He Said to query what her followers thought about a first date protocol – and whether it was better to be swept off your feet by a new potential partner.
‘When it comes to the first date do you like a man to decide where to go and book everything? Or do you prefer him to ask you where you’d like to go and have you choose the venue?’ She said.
‘When you start dating someone is part of the romance when the other person plans dates and puts effort into booking everything without needing feedback. Is it a sign of confidence and part of chivalry? At what point does it become a fair exchange of planned dates?’
Her 2,500 members took it in turns to share their opinion with many saying they would actually prefer it be a joint effort rather than a one-man show.
Louanne Ward, who lives in Perth, took to the Facebook page She Said, He Said to query what her followers thought about a first date protocol – and whether it was better to be swept off your feet by a new potential partner
‘What a great question to ask. The girl I’m currently dating is an events planner so this is right up her ally, I organised our first two dates (casual drink at local pub then Holly Molly Golf) for the second, then she started to organise the next few,’ one man replied.
‘I guess you could say it’s 50/50 between us when it comes to organising stuff for us to do.’
Another man added: ‘My wife likes when I plan everything out until she doesn’t. Sometimes she wants to do it’.
Louanne replied to the commenter: ‘We all have different values and things that are important to us. As a woman, she no doubt loves being spoilt with gestures that mean something to her but by planning things she also gets to spoil you and teach you at the same more about who she is and what she likes’.
Another man added: ‘My wife likes when I plan everything out until she doesn’t. Sometimes she wants to do it’ (stock image)
Do you prefer a man to plan the first date or to work together?
Do you prefer a man to plan the first date or to work together?
Now share your opinion
One Aussie man said he enjoys ‘taking the lead’ on dates but cautioned against choosing ‘creepy’ venues like the beach so you can just ‘feed your eyes’.
‘Go for a nice meal, even a theatre show and dinner, but do your homework ask what they like,’ he said.
A woman said she preferred to be wined and dined by a man and she’d had the ‘best’ experiences that way.
‘I honour and respect a man who is proactive in this regard and as such I’ve been on the best, most surprising dates when this has occurred and I’ve loved them, yes this definitely is a positive trait for me and a preference, it says a lot I feel,’ she said.
Another said: ‘I like a man who takes the initiative to ask a woman out, however I like to be included in the planning of the date, especially if there’s food involved because there’s a lot of foods I can’t eat!
‘Surprise activities are great too. Overall, I don’t think the onus should be on one person to take the lead for organising every date. It’s nice for both parties to have a go at doing something. I think it shows appreciation for one another.’
A woman said she preferred to be wined and dined by a man and she’d had the ‘best’ experiences that way (Louanne pictured)
Why these statements are stopping you from finding your perfect match
- Louanne Ward, a dating expert from Australia, shared both men and women should avoid saying: ‘I don’t have any expectations’
- She added that the five words inadvertently drive people away in the beginning stages of dating
- The matchmaker said there are always expectations when dating, such as their date arriving on time, looking like their photos and being who they said they are
- The ‘orange flag statement’ could mean you’re date isn’t emotionally ready for a relationship and that they are ‘wasting your time’
- ‘I don’t need a man,’ was the next statement the matchmaker warned women to stop saying
- She said those five words cause men to loose interest because dating is a game to them and finding their soulmate is their ‘prize’
- While she noted independent, confident and successful women don’t need a man, they might need all the things a man can give, such as, support, affection and love
Previously, Louanne spoke about what turns women off on a first date: men who talk about themselves all night.
Louanne said a man who talks only about himself can show a lack of confidence and give him a more ‘feminine energy’, which tends to put women off.
Instead, the dating guru said conversations on dates should be ‘like a tennis match’ where each person goes back and forth, asking and answering questions to learn more about their date.
Louanne said men who talk about themselves the whole time are causing two ‘negative reflexes and reactions’.
‘Talking about all your achievements and talking about possessions that you own and all the things that you’ve done, you’re having to do that to try and impress the lady,’ she said.
‘You’re feeling that you’re not bringing anything else to the table, that she’s not going to just like you for you so you’re showing a lack of confidence and if there’s one thing that going to turn a woman off is a man that has no confidence.’
Secondly, a man not letting the woman speak or ask anything about her is putting him in a ‘feminine energy’ and her in a ‘masculine energy’.
‘Feminine is talking and masculine is listening. While you’re doing all the talking, you’re throwing yourself into your feminine energy which is not really a big turn on for women,’ Louanne said.
Louanne said to think of a conversation on a date like a ‘tennis match’ rather than a ‘one-way street’.
‘On a date guys just remember that its supposed to be a bit like a tennis match, you hit the ball over and she hits it back, it’s not supposed to be a one way street,’ she said.
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