BLACK DOG: Theresa May’s gift makes a big impression

BLACK DOG: Theresa May’s gift makes a big impression

Theresa May doesn’t have much to laugh about at the moment, but she managed to raise a wintry smile when told President Mauricio Macri of Argentina had once choked on a fake moustache while doing a Freddie Mercury impression. 

Which explains why the PM arrived at the G20 summit in his country bearing the gift of a book on Queen.

Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May and Argentina’s President Mauricio Macri, left, are pictured after the G20 Leader’s summit in Buenos Aires

Treasury Minister Liz Truss brought the house down with a joke-fest of a speech at last week’s Spectator Parliamentarian of the Year Awards – but only after first-choice speaker Sajid Javid pulled out. 

Chief Secretary Liz Truss (right with Aid Secretary Penny Mordaunt and Health Secretary Matt Hancock) ridiculed Theresa May’s Brexit deal and many of her Tory colleagues 

Rivals of would-be party leader Sajid sniped: ‘He backed out because he realised he can’t tell a joke to save his life.’ 

No, insist allies of the Home Secretary – he was just too busy to attend. 

Woe betide any Tories caught short during the key Commons Brexit vote on December 11. 

Dog hears that Chief Whip Julian Smith is threatening to employ a ruthless ‘cloakroom and bog watch routine’ to ensure every loyal MP makes it to the ‘back May’ division lobby.

Michael Gove is now the owner of a Griffon Bruxellois, above

Now Gove cosies up to the Belgians

Does Michael Gove’s so-called ‘treachery’ to his arch-Brexiteer Tory colleagues know no bounds? 

Not content with backing Mrs May’s plan, the Environment Secretary is now the owner of a Griffon Bruxellois, which as its name betrays is… a Belgian breed. 

Gove’s defence? ‘It is British born and bred.’ 

Mims is onto a winner

When Sports Minister Tracey Crouch walked out in a row over ‘crack cocaine’ fixed-odds betting terminals, the Government lost one of its most vocal anti-gambling campaigners. 

Her lucky replacement Mims Davies is less shy of a flutter – she cleared off her student debts with a bingo win. Eyes down!

Sports Minister Tracey Crouch walked out in a row over ‘crack cocaine’ fixed-odds betting terminals

Not taking their seats doesn’t usually stop Sinn Fein MPs from using Commons facilities but the ‘Shinners’ have ditched plans for a Westminster party on December 11 as it clashed with the Brexit vote. 

‘Pity,’ sighs a Tory whip. ‘They can’t vote but at least after a few Guinnesses, they’d have p****d off the DUP.’

Ex-Tory Minister Mark Garnier’s infamous decision to send his secretary to Soho to buy him sex toys is the joke that keeps on giving. 

Addressing children’s toy manufacturers on the Commons’ Terrace, Labour MP Neil Coyle quipped: ‘I hope no one attending today has got the wrong end of the stick about the nature of the toys we are talking about.’

Labour frontbencher Clive Lewis has come up with a cunning plan to solve the TV Brexit debate stand-off between Jeremy Corbyn and Mrs May. 

‘Perhaps they can forget the debate and just do a political version of I’m A Celebrity… instead. 

‘First one to refuse to drink some disgusting concoction loses,’ jokes Lewis.

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