CLEANING is the new sex – that’s what Jessie J says, anyway.
The Do It Like A Dude singer, who is in an on-off relationship with Magic Mike actor Channing Tatum, said: “Cooking, organising and sex are my favourite things, in that order.”
The 31-year-old said tidying was her “love language”, and she’s not the only celebrity who has taken to this new kind of clean living.
Stacey Solomon has been posting her favourite tidying tips on Instagram, while cleanfluencers such as Mrs Hinch and the Queen of Clean have taken over Instagram.
Here, Lynsey Clarke and Ally Einstein meet four women who prefer getting a leg over the bath tub to scrub the tiles to getting a leg over their man in the bedroom.
'I get a high like an orgasm'
VACUUMING gives Tracy Fairbairn an endorphin rush like nothing else and she prefers dusting to sex.
The sports therapist from Doncaster, South Yorks, who has son Oliver, seven, with husband Simon, 53, a warehouse manager, says: "I clean for an hour in the morning and an hour at night.
On Sundays, I do a deep clean and it lasts seven hours.
At the end of that I have an endorphin high similar to the afterglow of an orgasm.
We used to have sex four times a week but we only do it twice now, since I started obsessively cleaning after having our son in 2012. Cleaning is my new sex.
My husband likes how the house looks but I think he worries about my relationship with the vacuum.
Hoovering gives me a real buzz. I love creating neat lines in the shagpile free of mess, and I love the euphoria I get when I see those neatly vacuumed carpets.
I have made my own essential oil carpet freshener which I spritz while I vacuum.
And I often think: “Who needs sex, which just messes up the bedroom?”
I change the bed sheets every second day. I need a super-clean bedroom for love making.
Cleaning has refocused me as a mother and a wife because I want a beautiful, clean home.
It’s also given me a sexier self-image, with better arm muscles and a trimmer waistline. I’m more confident than ever.
SIMON SAYS: “Sometimes I feel Tracy puts cleaning ahead of me.
I get pushed out the door with our son on a Sunday while she cleans.
Cleaning is definitely the third wheel in our relationship.
The upside is when she is done cleaning I know I can make a move. It’s become my signal.”
'Fresh towels are a turn-on'
CLEANING is carer Georgia Armstrong’s outlet – not sex. Her obsession began when she moved in with boyfriend Kyle Bibby, 26, a roofer, in Castle-ford, West Yorks.
Georgia, mum to Oakley, seven, and Beau, two, says: "After we settled into our two-bedroom home, I wanted it to be in pristine condition.
When I started following Mrs Hinch on Instagram, I knew cleaning was my calling. She’s made cleaning sexy.
I spend at least three hours a day cleaning – starting with the washing, separating coloured and whites.
The smell of freshly washed towels scented with fabric softener is a real turn-on.
Then I scrub the bathroom and kitchen until they are spotless.
I put scented fabric softener in the toilet cistern so even the flush smells lush.
I would rather clean than be taken out for a meal on date night.
Kyle knows not to talk to me or even come in for a cuddle if I am cleaning.
The thought of having sex in a dirty house is just disgusting to me.
We used to have sex daily when we first got together but then I got the cleaning bug.
If he catches me when I finish cleaning then I am good to go.
He works long hours so it can mean we only have sex once a week.
But I don’t miss it because cleaning is my outlet.
KYLE SAYS: “I have to ask Georgia what her cleaning schedule is for the week to know if sex is on the agenda.
I can’t understand her desire to scrub so much.
I do find it hard sometimes knowing I have to compete with dirty laundry and folding towels for her attention.”
'No action if sheets dirty'
MUM-OF-SIX Theresa Laurence spends more than 35 hours a week cleaning, while putting aside one hour for bedroom fun. The carer, from Ruislip, North West London, admits her home has to be spotless before partner Art Johnson, 62, a skip driver, gets a look in.
Theresa says: "To walk through a clean house with everything in its right place and spotless is thrilling.
Cleaning gives me a sense of control.
My all-white bathroom is my favourite place to clean.
I scrub the floor and use ear buds in the corners to get them free of dirt.
Having raised six children, I learnt early on to have a list of cleaning jobs each day to keep on top of things.
My kids think I’m a bit bonkers, but they admit they love the clean house.
I use a towel once and put it in the wash.
I clean the bed sheets at least four times a week.
Hospital corners, crisp sheets and a fluffy duvet give me a sense of euphoria that sex can’t.
I met Art after I split up with the children’s dad.
He has a tidy house himself but admits he can’t compete with my cleanliness.
When I visit his place, if it’s messy, I start tidying before we can get down to business.
We try to have sex a couple of times a week, but if the sheets aren’t clean and my daily cleaning list isn’t complete, there is no bedroom fun to be had.
Art tells me I need to relax and not worry about the dirty pots but it’s cleaning that allows me to work out my stress and tension.
ART SAYS: “Like Theresa, I love a tidy home.
She is the queen of clean. She notices mess, I don’t.
If she’s coming to mine I go all out to ensure it’s to her standards.
That way I get treated like a king.”
'Better cardio than lots of sex'
NURSERY practitioner Emma Johnstone, from Uxbridge, West London, says husband Wesley, 34, a mechanic, is now used to waiting for everything to sparkle before he gets any attention.
Emma, mum to Shannon, 14, and Vinnie, ten, says: "Creating a home for my husband and the kids has given me an incredible sense of achievement.
The euphoria I feel walking into a room I cleaned is better than anything.
It takes away any anxiety and I never get performance issues.
I do it for two hours a day and on Sunday I am out of bed at 6am for my big deep clean.
Then I turf my husband out of bed, pulling the sheets off to put them into the washing machine.
I put on my headphones and starting in the kitchen, clean for a good nine hours.
That marathon is better cardio than an hour of sex.
Scrubbing, sweeping and vacuuming gets my adrenaline pumping.
It’s empowering and makes me feel sexy.
When I finish my clean, with a final polish to doorknobs and surfaces, it fills me with a warm afterglow that sex can’t.
When Vinnie and I first met we had sex every day.
Now we have kids, he works long hours and I love cleaning.
He knows if the house isn’t pristine I am definitely not in the mood.
He’s getting used to being able to read my cleaning mood and knows when to make a move and when not to.
WESLEY SAYS: “I don’t quite understand why women find cleaning more fun than sex.
But I am learning to put away my shoes and clothes, ensuring a happy wife and a happy sex life.”
Source: Read Full Article