How long should sex last? Eight tips to be more satisfied in bed

HOW LONG should sex actually last? 

Men are desperate to know the answer – and women are keen for them to learn.  

Over 30 per cent of guys suffer from premature ejaculation at some point in their lives, so it comes as no surprise the number one download for fellas on sexual wellness app Lover is ‘Lasting Longer in Bed’.

But what is the desired time for duration? Scientific studies show anywhere between seven to 13 minutes.

Unsurprisingly less than two minutes was deemed “too short” and sex was considered “too long” if it lasted more than 15 to 30 minutes. 

Sun Sexpert Georgette Culley says: “The average man takes between five to seven minutes to orgasm while the average woman takes 13.-14.  

“What’s more, a whopping 80 per cent of women will not climax through penetrative sex alone. They need a helping hand to get over the finishing line.

“Men go wrong because they fixate on lasting longer than an episode of Love Island. They put too much pressure on themselves and the show is over before it’s begun.  

"You don't need to last longer than an hour but if you're struggling to stay up for ten mins or more then it's important to build up your stamina.

"Remember it's not all about penetrative sex – break up your lovemaking by spending ten minutes on foreplay and ten minutes on intercourse."

But if you want to last longer in bed, here's my guide to make you a stallion in the sack…

THE STOP-START TECHNIQUE

This simple exercise is one of the most effective ways to control your arousal, so you don’t fall over the edge into orgasm before you're ready. 

Masturbate (either alone or with a partner), then stop just as you’re about to climax, take some deep breaths and allow your desire to decrease. 

Repeat this exercise as many times as you like and time yourself to see if your duration improves.

THE SQUEEZE TECHNIQUE

The power is in your hands, as it were. Just as you feel yourself edging towards climax, pause, stop stimulation, (whether you’re self pleasuring or having sex) then squeeze the tip of your manhood. 

This should lower the intensity of the stimulation and give you a moment for your arousal to lessen. When you feel you’ve backed away from the edge or orgasm, you can return to stimulation.

TRY TANTRA

There is so much more to sex than just intercourse. A brilliant way to build sexual stamina and excitement is to practise tantra with your partner.

Lie naked to one another naked and synchronise your breathing, gently move your hands around one another’s body – and rest them on each other’s private parts – but don’t actually engage in foreplay.   Practise for 15 mins a day. 

ENGAGE IN COREPLAY

This can never be said enough – sex is more than just penetration. 

Research shows 95 per cent of men usually orgasm during sex. However, this could only be said for 65 per cent of women.

Help close ‘The Pleasure Gap’ by making foreplay your coreplay. This will most likely give your partner the stimulation they need to orgasm and lengthen the time of your sexual encounter.

EXERCISE YOUR KEGELS  

It’s not just pregnant women who need to exercise their pelvic floor, men do too. 

A study revealed that 82.5 per cent of men who struggled with early or involuntary ejaculation were able to regain control of the ejaculatory reflex after 12 weeks of practicing kegels. 

This exercise involves tightening your pelvic floor muscles by  contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor. Check out Kegel Gym exercise in the Lover app to get started. 

BE ADVENTUROUS

Some positions will help you last longer. Spooning, 69, girl on top and chair seat (where your partner sits on you like a chair and controls the depth of penetration) will help give you a long-lasting experience in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to mix things up, see what works for you and what doesn’t.

FOCUS ON YOUR PARTNER’S PLEASURE

Try diverting your attention away from the pleasure you’re experiencing, and focus on the pleasure your partner is experiencing. This might also help you to regain control of your own arousal, and your partner will find it super hot to have that extra attention.

STAY FIT

Obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes all contribute to erectile dysfunction and early or premature ejaculation.

Make sure that you’re eating a balanced diet and stay active. If you're sitting at your desk all day, go for a walk in your lunch break, and make sure you're getting enough fibre.

All of these small steps will not just improve your overall health, but it will help to stave off any illnesses that could impact your erections.

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