Coming off the pill turned me into a lesbian – the sex is infinitely better and I've now met the love of my life | The Sun

TESSA Bona, 30, a corporate worker, lives in Melbourne, Australia, with her girlfriend Phoebe, 24.

Here, she reveals how her experience coming off The Pill has impacted her sexuality.

“Looking around the busy bar, I noticed a striking brunette woman and realised that I really fancied her. Then I saw another gorgeous girl and fancied her, too.

"At 30, I’d never been sexually attracted to women before, yet here I was behaving like a hormonal teenage boy. What was going on?

"Growing up, I had always been able to appreciate the beauty of women, but I enjoyed relationships with men and had a fulfilling sex life.

"But by my late-20s, while I still enjoyed sex, my libido was lower than normal and I was constantly fatigued, either feeling emotionally numb or anxious.


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"In March 2021, I split with my boyfriend of 18 months. Shortly after, I watched a TikTok of a woman who, after stopping taking the Pill, had improved mood and more energy.

"I’d been taking the Pill since being prescribed it to regulate my periods at 15. It struck me that now I was single, it was the ideal time to have a break and see if things improved.

"Three weeks after coming off it, my lust for life was back and I no longer had anxiety. Suddenly, I wanted to go out and enjoy myself again. My friends even started calling me ‘New Tessa’.

"Another big change was that I stopped fancying men. I wasn’t attracted to good-looking blokes and the thought of kissing a guy disgusted me. I told my friends that I didn’t want a guy’s bits anywhere near me!

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"At the same time, I began feeling attracted to women, and I decided to go on a few dates, though I didn’t meet anyone I was really into. But one night, a friend introduced me to her mate Phoebe in a nightclub.

"I was immediately attracted to her – the sparkle in her eyes caught my attention – and she made it clear she liked me, too.

"When Phoebe, a corporate worker, made a move, I was hesitant, as I’d only been attracted to women for a short time, but we ended up kissing passionately and it felt amazing. From then on, we were inseparable.

"She came to stay at my home and never left! A few weeks later, Phoebe told me she loved me and I said I felt the same.

"In September 2022, two months after meeting, we went on holiday to Europe for four weeks, where we had the time of our lives, swimming, sunbathing and eating delicious food. 

"Not long after we got home, I watched a video – which has gone viral with more than 15 million views – that featured American life coach Elisha Covey.

"In it, she encourages women who are looking for love to come off the Pill, explaining that the men she had been in relationships with while taking the Pill versus while off it, were like night and day.

"She believed this was due to hormonal changes the contraceptive has on the body. She said that being on the Pill is like tricking your body into thinking it is pregnant.

"Her co-host in the video, Dr Alex Spinoso, agreed, explaining that the Pill changes hormones within the body, such as ‘love hormone’ oxytocin. 

"Phoebe and I filmed a TikTok in response, explaining how I’d become attracted to women after coming off the Pill, and asked if anybody had a similar experience.

"Hundreds of viewers commented. One woman walked away from her 10-year marriage after no longer being attracted to her husband when she ditched the Pill. 

"Several told us that they had also become lesbians after stopping birth control.

"People have asked if I was a lesbian all along and just didn’t realise it, or if the Pill was dulling my libido, but that’s not the case. Now, though, I do consider myself a lesbian. 

"Phoebe is immensely thoughtful, always surprising me with little gestures and romantic picnics and dinners.

"It’s a totally different dynamic from being with a man, plus the sex is infinitely better. She is my best friend and I love every second I spend with her. 

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"I can never imagine fancying or being with a man again. Phoebe is The One and we intend to spend the rest of our lives together.

"It breaks my heart to think this might never have happened if I was still on the Pill, but I’m so glad coming off it led me to meeting the love of my life.”


Research suggests women on the Pill are more attracted to less-masculine-looking partners.*

Another study claims women who choose partners while on the Pill are much less likely to divorce.**

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