Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
To V or Not to V
The late-night hosts congratulated 90-year-old Margaret Keenan of Britain on being the first person to receive Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine as part of a mass inoculation program that began on Tuesday, which locals referred to as “V-Day.”
“Of course, it being Britain, they give you a shot in the other arm, which they call a lorry, and it’s administered with a spoonful of sugar,” Stephen Colbert joked in his monologue.
“Well, of course, Britain’s most important citizens are all old: the queen, Dumbledore, even that one doctor who’s been on TV for over 50 years. Who is that? Who? Who?!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Although, on the other hand, she’s the only person in the whole country who is now safe to go out, so she’s just going to be out hitting the club, like, ‘Woo! Where are all my party girls at? Seriously, where is everybody?’” — TREVOR NOAH
“Just in time — she has plans to go see the Chainsmokers live next week.” — JAMES CORDEN
“That’s right, 90-year-old Margaret Keenan is the first patient in the world to receive the Pfizer vaccine. Or as the queen put it, ‘Sure. Sure, she was.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The U.K. vaccine underwent rigorous testing. Apparently Gordon Ramsay would try every version and then berate the scientist.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yep, the vaccine is starting in the U.K. and then coming here, but your one annoying friend will be like, ‘I actually liked the original British version better. It’s just nuanced and way more subtle.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (William Shakespeare Edition)
“It turns out — this is real — the second person to get the vaccine was an 81-year-old man named William Shakespeare. Yeah, William Shakespeare got a vaccine on V-Day, which explains why he said, ‘To V or not to V, that is the injection.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“This is the British version of Michael B. Jordan.” — JAMES CORDEN
“William Shakespeare — that can’t be a mistake. They had to have done that for P.R. because that’s the most English name an English person could have, next to Lady Margaret Cadbury Egg Thatcher Buckingham Paddingtonshire-on-Avon.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I don’t know what’s in the vaccine, but it must be pretty amazing, ’cause after Shakespeare got it, he challenged Logan Paul to a boxing match.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Welcome back to life, Bill. Maybe we’ll finally get a sequel to ‘Macbeth.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Though he was a real drama queen about getting it: [imitating William Shakespeare] ‘Is this a dagger, which I see before me? The handle toward my hand?’” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Kimmel and the Trumps re-enacted a famous scene from the holiday romance “Love Actually.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The MSNBC host Rachel Maddow will stop by Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
To round out an already terrible 2020, this year’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award is canceled.
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