Make a note: If you ever get an offer to play a game of hide-and-seek with a cat named James (Side note: I love pussies with human names), turn down that offer immediately. If you do take the offer, you’ll spend your entire life looking for James, and you won’t be able to eat, sleep, or drink anything, because you’ll be too focused on trying to track that pussy down. You’ll never find him, and your last words while dying from the thirsts and the tireds will be, “Just tell me where the fuck James is.”
Writer Ashly Perez learned that her cat, who has an Instagram page (because DUH), was an expert hider when she took him to the vet. James is like my dog, who mostly hates the vet, because he hates getting that long hard thing shoved up his culo during temperature time (not like father, not like dog). But my dog doesn’t think to hide like James did.
James shoved his head into the trash hole at the vet’s office and instantly became a pussy in a hole (which may or may not be a PornHub category). Pull out your magnifying glass and clear your schedule for the rest of the day, because it’ll take you that long to spot Disappearing James.
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