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Trump at the Bush Funeral
Stephen Colbert on Wednesday rolled footage from the state funeral of former President George Bush, and he pointed out that a change seemed to come over the other presidents in attendance when President Trump showed up.
“It was quite a moving sight to see the presidents and the first ladies in the front row, waiting to honor President Bush, chatting comfortably with one another. Until Trump showed up, and then it became silent-staring time. Donald Trump is the only person in the world who can bring down a funeral.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Colbert showed a shot of former Presidents Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter with their wives, all reading aloud from a program in unison with the pastor. Meanwhile, Trump keeps his program folded by his side, appearing either disinterested or oblivious.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I, uh, I zoned out there for a minute. I was thinking about all the evangelicals who voted for me. What are we doing, the Macarena? I’m in.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, impersonating Trump
Colbert highlighted the news that Bush’s family promised to prevent speakers from critiquing Trump at the funeral before he agreed to attend.
“Of course, earlier this year President Trump was famously not invited to former first lady Barbara Bush’s funeral. But he was welcomed today after the ‘Bush family promised Trump that’ the ‘funeral would avoid criticizing him.’ They even assured him that the choir would drown out the sound of other ex-presidents rolling in their graves!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, quoting from an article in The Hill
Bush’s biographer, Jon Meacham, said of Bush in his eulogy: “His life code was: tell the truth; don’t blame people.” Colbert wondered if that was against the agreed-upon rules.
“As soon as you start praising someone’s honesty, you’re automatically throwing shade at Donald Trump. I mean, Obama made Trump seem like a bad president just by sitting next to him.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Fallon at the Gaslight
Jimmy Fallon donned a black turtleneck and a beret and dimmed the “Tonight Show” cameras into black-and-white to “poetry-slam the news.” The Roots morphed into a jazz band behind him as he rhymed and extemporized on the Russia investigation, Hanukkah and — really finding his stride — lettuce.
“They wouldn’t let us — eat the let-tuce.
Do you know why? There was E. coli.
So I go buy iceberg or arugula — those were more valid.
Who am I kidding? I never eat salad.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Pixar Edition)
“A family in California is looking for their son’s teddy bear in a cluster of balloons. Then Pixar said, ‘Sold!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“A new report claims that the legalization and taxation of recreational marijuana in New York could provide enough funds to fix the city’s transit system. It would be the first time anybody’s used weed to make something go faster.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Kimmel is moving from health care policy into a different kind of activism. He’s an impassioned advocate of the meatball emoji — and he pulled out all the stops during a meeting with Jennifer 8. Lee of the Unicode Emoji Subcommittee.
Allana Harkin of “Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” spoke to Leslie Smith, a UFC fighter who’s trying to unionize the industry.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Senator Bernie Sanders, who is widely expected to run for president in 2020, will sit down with Colbert on Thursday.
Also, Check This Out
More than 45 years after it was made, “Amazing Grace” is just seeing release — and it’s destined to become the quintessential visual document of Aretha Franklin’s life, our critic writes.
Plus, Ideas for What to Watch Tonight:
The 100 Best Movies on Netflix Right Now
Stream These Dark Political Thrillers
Non-Depressing Documentaries on Netflix
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